I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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