Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
