Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
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Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
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