Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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