I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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