Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You've changed since you got that strap on
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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