thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
