so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
