Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize