Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize