This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
