I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
