I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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