I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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