if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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