doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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