Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize