I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Your dad touched me again.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My vagina is officially offended.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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