But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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