Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
