Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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