Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
