2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
how drunk are you?
Several
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
