Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
