im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
