I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
