My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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