I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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