I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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