so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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