Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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