I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
