i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
