He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
