There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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