so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
