dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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