Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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