im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
