You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
