So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
