i permit you to call me
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
