I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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