i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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