eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
