I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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