How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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