I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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