jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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