It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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