How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think I am morally bankrupt
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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