all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
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I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
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He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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