Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize