remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
