So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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