he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
