It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
