watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you made out with another girl for some wings
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
