i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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