you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize