dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize