Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
