FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
