You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
